never thought it wouldve 
                                   meant so much  

after reading nicky's blog
dont ask me why
i almost cried
i kept telling myself that my 
family means alot to me
when there were times i
hated my parents or my brother 
just because of my foul moods
or because of my attitude
they didnt complain
or comment about anything
in fact, they loved me

they would know im not feeling
good and that i needed help
when i thought there wasnt anyone
i could turn to
i would find my family there for me
my brother, my mommy
i dont ask much from any of them
but i never expected myself to take it all
for granted ; seems like i didnt grow up
but they watched me grow up
though nicky's not here with me at home
i know he's there ?
and thats where i find the strength to overcome
the feeling of being lonely sometimes ?
they didnt make me feel that i was
standing alone
despite all my whining or complaining or my screaming

they were there..

my dad
the one who has ensured that i get to school
every single day
without a complaint
and whenever i step out of the car,
i cant even be bothered to say a simple
" thankyou dad "
i just close the door behind me and start my day
but it occured to me that my dad,
works till late everyday.
yet he never fails to wake the next morning 
to send me to school
a man with few words just like nicky said
but he's MY DAD

my mom
loves me
and i never really took that in
whenever i felt like a failure or a loser
she was there to lift me up
when i was happy, she was proud of me
when i was down in the dumps,
she was there for me to cry on
she was there to cry with me
she wants the best for me
she knows how i feel just by the attitude
i give her whenever she gets home
she's there to make me laugh
when i couldnt make myself smile
this is, MY MOM

my brother
the one who i used to hate 
when i was a little girl
look at us now.
he has indeed grown up
and though i never did understand
why he did this or that
i know its cos he loves me ?
he was there with me when my 
parents werent
in times where i really couldnt talk to anyone
he'd see through me and come talk to me
he's always there..
after he moved over to my uncle's place
i thought it wouldve been better without
him disturbing me 
but how wrong could i get ?
im missing out on how he's doing
how he's taking care of himself
soon, he'll go off to NS
then, i wont get to see him either
and its really so awesome to know that
ive got a brother who there's to support me ?
ive got a brother whom i can look up to
ive got a brother just like anyone else
yet, he means so much to me

and this, is MY FAMILY

its time i see how important and how much
my family means to me
my attitude towards them
my launguage
my gestures
everything that i do
may not have been nice
but its time i learned to do
something for them

to those who say they hate their parents or siblings,
you dont realise how much they love you
how much they wanna see you happy
how much they wanna be there when you're down
how much hurt and pain when you reject them
you choose  ;
to love them or not

to mom dad and nicky  ;
I LOVE YOU ALL so much
sorry for giving that attitude most of the time
and sorry for speaking rudely too
i just wanna let you know that
i love you :)

i wonder why i used to care about who loved
me and who didnt
i wonder why i cared if ppl loved me or not
no doubts
im satisfied with the ppl around me
what more can i ask for ?